A special note from RandomZen.Net's battalion of lawyers:
RandomZen.Net ® is a satirical web site published by RandomZen LLC.
RandomZen.Net ® uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
The content of this web-site-graphics, text and other elements-is © Copyright 2004 by RandomZen, Inc. (unless otherwise stated, as in news stories by the AP or CNN, for example), and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher (i.e., a fat check made out to yours truly).
RandomZen.Net ® is not intended for readers under 13 years of age - but the slick ones tend to get in.
Still need more?
This website is meant for entertainment purposes only. All articles, essays, opinions, graphics, acts of heresy, outright blasphemy, demonic nightmares and any other forms of pseudo-reality presented on this site are the products of the imagination of a demented ex-produce clerk and not to be mistaken for instructions, moral guides, words of inspiration, toilet paper, mental vitamins, discussion topics at the dinner table or reasons to hate the world (find your own). If you are an organization or private individual who does not understand the definitions and the natures of the words 'FICTION' or 'PARODY' and feel that my influence on the Internet may have somehow demoralized you, your offspring, or someone you know (and before you decide to try and meddle in the affairs of man with a wicked devious sense of rectitude), please try to remember that the medium by which you are reading this is not held under any laws of censorship (please visit http://www.aclu.org/issues/cyber for more on this). This is bigger than the both of us, jackass. Also, if you feel that this site is not suitable for your viewing, please remember that you got here on your own and can ultimately leave on your own. Do you find any of this site to be offensive? So do we. All complaints should be directed to Jesus or your nearest, local deity.
SPECIFICATIONS SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE.
