Have you ever seen another human being doing or wearing something that just makes you want to ask, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

It was unusually warm in the month of February this year. One day it was 65 degrees outside and most sane humans were dressed lightly, some even in shorts. I saw a group of people at the bus stop wearing heavy coats and I wondered, "What the fuck are you guys thinking?"

Last week in Center City I saw a man with an unusually large cranium with a small baseball cap stretched out over his head. He just didn't look right with a tiny hat on his huge dome. I simply wondered, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

I saw an elderly lady with a cane attempt to beat the signal at a pedestrian crosswalk during rush hour. The light changed when she was in the middle of the street. Then she SLOWLY turned around to see what was behind her. After concluding that there wasn't anything behind her she SLOWLY turned to her left and SLOWLY turned her right to see if anyone was there. This hour-long process was pissing drivers off process. I thought to myself, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

I saw a big huge fat lady on the bus with unusually large elephant hooves for feet. Yet, she had managed to squeeze her tree-trunk sized feet into size six shoes. How this unusually large woman could squeeze her unusually large Barney Rubble feet into small shoes is beyond me. I simply asked myself, "What the fuck was she thinking?"

I was standing in line at Starbucks Coffee one morning and I couldn't stop laughing at this Jewish dude's nose. I have a knack for spotting large Jewish noses. This man had Gucci sandals on but his toenails looked like they had not been cut in years. And they were yellow. "What the fuck was this nose thinking?"

When I shop for groceries at the Acme I usually run into this heavy-set woman and her bloated daughter. Their carts are always filled with buckets of ice cream and tubs of "Hungry-Man" dinners. These two unusually obese dough-people couldn't see diabetes and heart disease in bucket of KFC--EXTRA CRISPEE!!! I wonder, "What the fuck are they thinking?"

What am I getting at? I think the producers of "The Simpsons" and "King of the Hill" have realized The Universal Truth: Human beings are bobble-heads.

So with that, I will no longer wonder why there is a man pissing in at an ATM machine in broad daylight, or that some children are butt-fucking ugly but their parents still insist that they are cute. I will no longer feel bad as I laugh at an Indian man's taxi-cab driving, squishee-serving accent.

Knowing that humans are mere bobble-headed dolls, I will no longer feel guilty laughing at the Asian lady who works at the food cart. She doesn't speak a lick of English, has two teeth in her mouth, and a lazy eye that's gray in color and still doesn't understand why her customers are always laughing out loud.

The Universal Truth also allows me to not feel ashamed of laughing at a man in a wheelchair struggling to go up the ramp. I am free, at last I am free, because of The Universal Truth....