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PART II: Sammy goes to Negril
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The Amazing Travels of
SAMMY
The Jamaican Dead Dog
PART II: Sammy goes to Negril
I had to admit. As much as I was enjoying my quality time with Sammy, I couldn't help but feel a little depressed that he might not be having as much fun as he might be having if he were still alive.
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buzzzzzz...buzzz...rot...rot
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But then I remembered the words my wise great-grandfather used to say to my great grandmother when cousin Hortense died while waiting for an appointment at the American Visa office :
"...there's good and bad in everything that happens Kitty-Belle. Although Hortense is gone, at least we don't have to put up with any more of his farting. All he ever did was come over here and fart."
Grandfather was right. There was good and bad in everything. I would be GOD-DAMNED if I was going to allow my stupid little insecurities to prevent me from being a good tour guide for Sammy.
SO...after Sammy was done swimming, I scooped him up and strapped him to the top of the car.
Wet dogs smell bad enough, but a wet dead dog is simply intolerable. I patted him on his head and we were off to the airport. After a very reasonable 8 hour drive back to Kingston, we arrived at the airport and soon we were flying high on an Air Jamaica jet and drinking champagne.
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"...care for some peanuts Sammy? They're honey roasted! "
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I simply love flying to the north coast or Negril on Air Jamaica. I've really got to hand it to that Butch Stewart. He may be a little overweight and greedy, but he sure knows how to keep the white people happy.
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'Ha! Ha! Wasn't that hilarious when Billy asked that beggar if HE could spare any change?! And then the SANDALS security shot him? Ha! Ha! Ha! I love this place.'
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Hell, if it weren't for good ol' Butch, a lot of people might not be able to go back to Miami and share memories with each other on www.jamaicans.com!
Now that would be a real loss.
Anyway, Sammy was really loving the flight. The champange was superb and we didn't see one dark-skinned pilot so we felt really safe and secure...
The Stewardesses were great too.
Then we got a real treat. When I told the stewardess that this was Sammy's first flight across the island, she offered to let him see the cockpit and meet the pilots. Sammy didn't react much but I knew he was really excited, especially when they let him sit in the Captain's chair!
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WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
LOOK SAMMY! YOU'RE DRIVING THE FRIGGIN' PLANE!!!!
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Everything was going perfectly. Captain Wixman liked Sammy so much that he took off the automatic pilot and placed the controls in Sammy stiff little paw. He did great for a while, but then, we ran into some unexpected turbulence and I think Sammy panicked.
OH NO SAMMY!! We're going to crash into Negril and kill every one of those nice, economy-sustaining tourists on the beach down there!!!
MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Pull up Sammy! Pull up!
(click HERE to see if Sammy saves the day...or crashes into Margueritaville, killing everyone instantly)
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