SAMMY...(the Jamaican dead dog) З-ЗДЏ`З-З RandomZen.Net

Sammy - part one

The Amazing Travels of
SAMMY
The Jamaican Dead Dog

By Peter Dean Rickards

THIS IS A RECENT PHOTOGRAPH OF MY DOG...SAMMY:

I was returning to my house in Cherry Garden (a suburb on the outskirts of Kingston) when I struck him head-on, killing him instantly. Yes, I killed my own dog.

Needless to say I was VERY UPSET when I got out and discovered it was my Sammy. Initially, I thought it was someone else's dog or perhaps a goat but upon closer inspection I became convinced.

Same breed, same ears and I would have recognized those eyes anywhere. Even if they were hanging out of his head. I felt terrible. I loved that damn dog and after four years of loyal service I had paid him back by killing him. I felt that he deserved better. Subsequently, I've decided to show my respect for Sammy by taking him on a sightseeing tour across the country - his country, the country he never knew:

I scooped up Sammy and threw him into the trunk. Then I called the office and told them I wasn't coming in for a couple weeks. When I got home I fired the maid for letting him get out.

Unimpressed, I threw her things onto the front lawn and screamed:

I grabbed up my camera and went to say goodbye to my whoring wife Opal who was out on the veranda being idle. She said:

In Jamaica, some people from the lower classes (like Opal) often refer to a penis as a "'hood"- which is short for MANHOOD. But I had no time for that--Sammy was rapidly decomposing. So, I kissed her tenderly between her large breasts and left the house. I propped up Sammy in the front seat of the jeep and we started to drive across thee country.

As we drove I gave him little history lessons about Jamaica and he seemed to like it even though he didn't stick his head out the window the way he usually does when I take him out in the car.

Eventually, we arrived at beautiful YS Falls. I lifted Sammy out of the car and carried him down the slippery steps. Then I threw him into the cool fresh water for a nice swim. And, as I watched him there, kept nicely afloat by his swelled belly, I knew he was happy.